« Be a gentleman, get a shave | Main | "Inn" and around the village square in full bloom »
June 05, 2005
The Buffalo is back to yaking
The Buffalo, which is recognizable by its location in the Mariemont Inn just above the lobby’s entrance door, is back to his loquacious and garrulous demeanor.
If the most scrutinized attention is paid by Inn visitors, they may witness the Buffalo running his mouth, winking at the guests and signaling with a wiggle of his ears to the menagerie of other animals the ingress and egress of each patron.
He has only recently regained his communication faculties, though; he had previously been rendered mute and statuesque for approximately a year after losing a bet to the Moose and Elk, also located in the lobby.
“About 12 months ago I noticed the Buffalo wasn’t being his extroverted self when he refused to recognize my routine ‘good morning’ to him,” the Inn's Director of Operations Bill Spinnenweber said, adding it was a first in the Buffalo’s long residence at the hotel he had not acknowledged a salutation. “I figured he was probably under the weather.”
After a week of not acknowledging anyone’s presence, Bill began to wonder if maybe the Buffalo was harboring any ill feelings towards somebody or something.
“I inquired what was the meaning of his silence; then I urged him to confide in me if anything was the matter. I further attempted to placate his feelings so as to understand why his incipient reticence ... all to no avail,” Bill said. “So, I threw up my arms, declared that if he were going to be so obdurate as to not even answer my queries then he could take it up with the cooks at the National Exemplar.”
Bill has always placed the Buffalo’s lunch order at restaurant’s kitchen: A lavishly decorated and seasoned Caesar Salad with a side of brussel sprouts. And a spritzer water. Then a post-meal hot cup of Darjeeling Highlands Indian black tea with a slice of lemon. The Buffalo is a vegan, by the way.
The announcement of the Buffalo being cut off from the kitchen aroused a few muffled snickers from the Elk and the Moose.
Bill immediately called an impromptu meeting in his office, where the two antlered-quadrupeds revealed the facts concerning “the Bet.”
Apparently - according to the two animals - the Buffalo exclaimed a year ago he could coerce the piano-crooning old man sitting at his piano in the lobby to perform “The Imperial March”, the theme performed in each Star Wars movie whenever Darth Vader was present on screen, every time the Inn's general manager Bonnie Malone walked through the hotel.
The Moose and Elk - fully cognizant that the man seated at the piano was a diligent virtuoso attempting to write the greatest concerto of his day and would 'tune out' any outside disturbances - played on the Buffalo’s ego. They bet him not only would he fail to get the piano man play the song but that he wouldn’t even succeed in getting the piano man to acknowledge any attempts to engage in conversation.
The Moose and Elk said if the Buffalo failed to convince the piano player to comply with the request, then he - the Buffalo - must remain perfectly still and not utter one sound for exactly one year. If he made even the slightest peep or movement, then they would be forced to tell a secret the Buffalo had previously asked them to keep: He had a crush on Peggy, one of the Inn's front desk staff. The Buffalo confidently agreed to the bet.
“So, as you can extrapolate from the details, the Buffalo lost the bet,” Bill said, in between laughs. “The piano player, well, he ... is busy composing and doesn't partake in games of frivolty. That is all I can say about that matter.”
Well, the year has elapsed and now the Buffalo is back to his talkative self.
Although, he refused comment when asked how hard it was to keep silent for the past year and how embarrassed he was when he found out he had been duped by a Moose, an Elk and a musician.
Posted by johnston at June 5, 2005 07:38 PM
